Lying Bastard Wanted: DWP Advertise For Head of News

dwp-job-advertThe DWP are advertising for a News Manager with experience of ‘crisis management’ to take charge of the endless stream of bullshit which pours out of the DWP Press Office.

The advert, spotted by @SmithTonyD over on twitter, explains: “The DWP has led, and continues to lead, the domestic news agenda. Its policies are debated in all forms of media and it will be your responsibility to ensure the Department’s voice is heard where those discussions are taking place.

Reporting to the Director of Communications, you will take this work on within a fully integrated communications directorate, leading our media relations. You will help to inform policy, advise Ministers, brief the media, and build compelling PR campaigns, whilst ensuring we talk directly and efficiently to our audiences.”

The true nature of the role comes later in the job description, where the DWP ask for someone who can be ‘imaginative’ in their solutions.

Welfare-to-work companies often advise searching out those hidden vacancies, and this was pretty well tucked away.  The DWP chose not to advertise the job on their own shambolic Universal Jobmatch website. Concerns have been raised that employers using the bodged government job vacancy site are likely to be swamped as thousands of people apply for jobs they are not qualified for just to meet their  jobseeking activity conditions.

The DWP are obviously keen to make sure they themselves dont have to spend hours wading through applications.  Luckily claimants can apply via the Guardian jobs website.  The salary is a whopping ‘circa £82,000 a year, plus benefits’ (I don’t think that means you can sign on at the same time).  All you have to do is be able to lie through your teeth about unemployed and disabled people for money.

Follow me on twitter @johnnyvoid

66 responses to “Lying Bastard Wanted: DWP Advertise For Head of News

  1. Anyone whos been on Jackanory should be o.k the ability to cross fingers behind ones back should also be o.k

  2. On the short list; Enid Blyton, Hans Christian Anderson, both Brothers Grimm, Charles Perrault (he wrote Litte Red Riding Hood, Puss In Boots and others), Pinnochio, Charles Kingsley (The Water Babies), Lewis Carroll, Franz Kafka (I’m predicting a tie there).

  3. Teesside Solidarity Movement

    Reblogged this on Teesside Solidarity Movement.

  4. What no £50 odd pound a week to live on?

  5. the prime requirement of this “job”..is the ability to smoothly and seamlessly, lie to ones self and therefore rationalize a lie … summed up so excellently, by the temptations “sky’s the limit” track “smiling faces”….well worth a listen, imho.

  6. I’m sure IDS could mentor the successful candidate in the ignoble arts of public relations – when it comes to lying through your teeth, he’s in a league of his own.

  7. Landless Peasant

    And now Liam Byrne is at it spouting more BULLSHIT through the media with his claims of “full employment” under a Labour government…..

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-22557061

    Just how stupid does he think we are? Surely everyone, including all politicians, must by now know for a fact that full employment under a Capitalist system is IMPOSSIBLE! Capitalism needs unemployment in order to exist!

    • A4E are Shite!!

      lol Under Byrne’s system we would have 100% employment with ZERO unemployment… that’s right everyone in a job and jobcentres turned into pigeon roosts. So where would would an employer recruitment from? Another employer. Wonder what would happen to wages then without an “army” of unemployed to keep wages depressed. A never-ending spiral of wage-inflation, that’s what. Unemployment is ESSENTIAL to a functioning capitalist system. And didn’t fuckwit Byrne study eco-fucking-nomics at Oxbridge or some such place.

    • lp
      the man is an idiot…there used to be an unwritten rule in industry, that any man with a young family and/or a mortgage…got 1st refusal on overtime…coz it was recognized he would be struggling to make ends meet.and every one felt a bit better about themselves for doing this…how times have changed…!
      i’d re-nationalize all pre-nationalized industry…it was done to keep some sort of check on capitalist excesses, that is now plain to see…

      • Landless Peasant

        Perhaps we are to deduce from this that Labour now supports Clause IV ? And a large Sow was seen hovering over Westminster…

        • lp
          this is just about the crux of every thing that is sower about british politics…clause iv….this one move, would redistribute wealth fairly swiftly…and slowly put things back in their proper place…look, i see a fleet of sows flying over the palace of pugin…

    • “Full employment”, when politicians say it, actually means 2% unemployment. It doesn’t mean everyone’s got a job all the time. It’s more politial doublespeak.

  8. Liam Byrne is a CUNT!!

    Fuck this Nazi bastard!!!!!!!

  9. Is this a permanent position, or just holiday cover for IDS and the other Ministers within the DWP? Or have they decided that they have exhausted the current bullshit and need fresh ideas? Their current BS is drying up and losing it’s pungency?

  10. something survived...

    At our JCP there are any number of practiced liars – and they all sit BEHIND the desk. Recent example:

    Claimant: Are you going to stop my benefits?
    JCP Cunt: No of course not. Everything’s in order.
    [claimant leaves]
    JCP Cunt: [converses with co-cunts, and has claimant’s benefits stopped]

  11. Every person should apply to this post just for the hell of it swamp them with cv,s application forms online applications the system would crash if every unemployed person applied.

  12. Yosserian Hughes

    It’ll go to another peer of the realm……

    ……………Baron Munchausen

  13. Yosserian Hughes

    @Donkey

    Yep! That’s him/them😛

  14. I have just applied for the job,I have absolutely no experience,so should fit quite easily into the system.

  15. Yosserian Hughes

    I’ve applied! Here’s my automated response:

    Hello,

    Thank you for requesting an information pack for the role of Head of News advertised on Guardian Jobs. We can confirm that your information pack request has been sent to the recruiter.

    Details of the role that you requested information for are below:

    Job title: Head of News
    Job reference:
    Recruiter name: DEPARTMENT FOR WORK AND PENSIONS-5

    Regards

    The Guardian Jobs team

    Everybody ought to do the same, as catwoman says. I’m also sending mine off – the bastards’ll no doubt have everybody’s name & address on their lists to see who didn’t bother so they can sanction (I HATE that word) them.

    • Landless Peasant

      Nice one. and don’t forget to send the email response to your Work Coach as jobsearch evidence😉

  16. Yosserian Hughes

    Bastards prefer email apps do they? No fuckin’ chance!

    I’ve just emailed them to give me details of how to apply other than email. They can spend money on sending me all the bumph that I’ll need to apply. They won’t give me details of how to apply anonymously for jobs without contact details on UJ so they best give me details on how to apply for their own bastard department.

  17. Landless Peasant

    Hope this is of interest or use to someone. I just received this from Lord Fraud, regarding the feedback he requested in his begging letter to Local Authorities for input and ideas on how to bail-out the Universal shambles :

    Department for Work & Pensions

    Caxton House, Tothill Street, London SW1H 9DA

    Website:www.dwp.gov.uk E-mail Ministers at: ministers@dwp.gsi.gov.uk

    In February this year I published the Local Support Services Framework,
    which was developed in partnership with local authorities and sets out the
    principles for providing support for claimants with additional or complex needs
    to help them make and manage Universal Credit claims and prepare for work.

    The Framework sought comments on the proposed approach and I am
    pleased to be able to confirm that we have received 149 responses from
    across the local government, housing and voluntary sectors. This feedback
    will be invaluable as we develop the local delivery partnerships that will assist
    claimants in the new system.

    We are recording and analysing the feedback in detail and will be using it in
    three main ways:

     To finalise aspects of the design of the framework that we need in
    place before Universal Credit is rolled out more widely – for example,
    the details of how funding will be arranged and managed;
     To inform the development of overarching and local partnership
    agreements that will be put in place over the coming months;
     To help us develop a revised framework that will provide planning
    baselines for 2014/15.

    Responses to the consultation strongly endorsed the Delivery Partnerships
    Approach to providing localised support, and highlighted a range of existing
    partnerships that have the potential to deliver local services for Universal
    Credit claimants. These included Community Planning Partnerships in
    Scotland, local authority led Welfare Reform Groups and local Economic
    Regeneration Partnerships.

    In addition, many of you consider it important that partnerships include a wide
    range of organisations to ensure good local knowledge and make the most of
    existing services. We remain committed to supporting localism and will
    highlight examples of inclusive and innovative partnerships in the revised
    framework document which will be published in October this year.

    Some of you suggested additions to the list of vulnerable claimant categories
    set out in the framework or emphasised the importance of thinking beyond
    “categories” when delivering services. I concur with this view and am keen
    that, while claimant support should be holistic and joined-up, it should also be
    tailored to meet differing and individual needs.

    Many of you also suggested there was a need to more clearly distinguish
    between those claimants who need only a little help to engage with Universal
    Credit, and those who may need longer term support to move towards
    financial independence. We will continue to discuss these issues with our
    reference groups with a view to reflecting our learning in our approach to
    funding and outcomes, and in the revised framework.

    The need for clarity about funding and associated outcomes was a central
    concern in many responses. Work is already underway, through the Local
    Support Services Taskforce, to develop a detailed funding instrument. In
    addition, we will be working with a range of stakeholders to develop an
    approach to outcomes that balances the need for certainty about funding for
    service providers with the need to achieve positive outcomes for claimants
    and value for money for the taxpayer. The funding instrument will address
    key questions, such as the minimum offer for local support services, and the
    way in which both funding and outcomes should reflect variations in local
    needs (e.g. to take account of factors like rurality and levels of deprivation).
    We hope to be able to say more about the funding instrument over the next
    couple of months.

    In developing the framework we drew on insights from organisations working
    directly with claimants, and worked in close partnership with Local Authorities
    Associations. As we work towards the national roll out of Universal Credit,
    and accompanying Local Support Services we will continue these
    conversations with local authorities, housing providers and the voluntary and
    community sector through the work of the Taskforce and Reference Groups.

    Locally, our JobCentre Plus District Managers are already working to support
    the development of partnerships that will deliver services to support claimants.
    Responses to the framework, as well as learning from the Direct Payment
    Demonstration Projects and Local Authority led Pilots, will inform this work.

    Universal Credit will make work pay – so that people are better off in work. It
    is essential that claimants with additional needs are supported to be
    successful in using the new system, to move towards independence and,
    wherever appropriate, to find work or better paid work.

    I look forward to continuing to work in partnership with you to make sure this
    happens.

    Lord Freud
    Minister for Welfare Reform

    Weblink to the framework: http://www.dwp.gov.uk/ucla

  18. lp
    more duality double speak from this banker….atos win contract to coach scottish la’s a link there, be reading fcuking, janet and john books…to brow beat “brains” into la employees…

    good for the nhs their going to test my shit, to check for cancer…the new hcproviders will cure cancer, by denying it’s existence, unless of course one can pay, and then you can be as sick as you like, so if one has complex “needs”…ie no local jobs/illness/low energy/et al, guess what if you work hard, and earn money, you can pay for cure of all ills, cure unemployment by getting a job, now why did i not think of that?…makes sense to someone, if not me….work cures poverty…”you know it makes senseless”

    • “The main type of support provided by Advice Service is benefit maximisation and debt crisis management. Budgeting support services are currently under development to be included with Work Clubs in the first instance to evaluate the effectiveness. This will include the Advice Service monopoly-style board game Payday Challenge (!). The concept of the game is to get around the board from one payday to the next, whilst managing within a prescribed budget (!). The aim of the game is to create fun and memorable ways to increase awareness and understanding of the challenges of day to day spending/budgeting …”

      • sn
        in 1979 dole was eqiv £130, in todays money…..housing bens were paid as required….this mind game scheme is designed to, blame the victim, for the brutal slashing of benefits..it is job club/yts, speak nothing more…regurgitated nonsense…tory respeak…
        one has to meet vital basic needs, or your not going anywhere, within a budget, this is not rocket science, but basic common sense, which every one owns…these schemes are insulting and designed to insult…what are the penalties for saying, no! get lost? the words that they choose carefully to use are all dualities…and can be interpreted to mean what ever the arbitrator of the scheme, wants or desires…until one knows their minimum spend/wk nothing can be decided…the rates of benefits, paid are historic..ie based on peoples past expectations, therefore based on the money people used to need…to have a reasonable standard of life..i would say on balance, that living costs are the same as they were in 1979…the only thing is that we are being forced to live on less and less and ridiculed and goaded, if we can’t…they try to make planning for future needs look simple…coz that is what one is, always doing, planning for the future…and no one can do that. unless one has much more money, resources or access to reliable capital, to get loans etc, than is needed, tis hope for the best…no plan for the worst, coz i cannot budget for this! there is a post some where back, a web link to a woman who suffered this very dilemma…travel costs car repair costs, all looked fine “no way back”, all looked doable on paper, except i doubt it did…she was dropped right in the shit…coz she trusted their advice…and now deeply regrets it…i expect one could have been debt management counselling,but only coz one took their advice in the first place…she put her story out there as a warning to others beware snake in the grass!

  19. Other qualifications: must be Paul dacre and in charge of daily mail

  20. chewie that’s job done then!

    First they came for the communists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a communist.

    Then they came for the trade unionists,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a trade unionist.

    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Jew.

    Then they came for me
    and there was no one left to speak out for me.
    (Martin Niemöller 1892-1984)

  21. . We remain committed to supporting localism=make sure those scruffy workshy don’t live in your borough and devalued property prices.
    Localism is just out and out discrimination and should be challenged in a court of law.
    Because that it what it was set up for to keep ‘the riff raff’ out of posh boroughs as I have found out recently

  22. I should go for this.
    How far do you think I’d get before they realise who I am?

  23. I think everyone (and I mean everyone) on JSA should apply for this job!

  24. And anyone who fails to release news censored according to Infernal Dastardly Scrounger’s satisfaction will find his balls being returned in a box (assuming that it’s a man who gets the job of course, which it likely will be)!

  25. Bravo Johnny Void, hit the nail on the head with the UJ site being a shambolic mess just as its creators are. I myself now only apply for jobs with a minimum 30k remuneration, after all the government insist work should pay. Guardian site here I come, well, who can’t lie for a handsome reward?

  26. Hmmm. I could think of “imaginative solutions” for DWP policy problems.
    Like-immediately vapourise said policies and jettison the whole of the Tory Libdem Cabinet and top DWP and ATOS bastard staff out into deep deep space. Sorry to other life forms in the Universe. Hoe DARE The Guardian take this advertisement.

  27. I couldn’t get that job as I can’t lie without blushing.

  28. Only descendants of goebbels need apply

  29. Pingback: Lying Bastard Wanted: DWP Advertise For Head of...

  30. Obi Wan Kenobi

    DWP told to release names of Workfare exploiters.

    http://consent.me.uk/2013/05/17/exploiters/

  31. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU...!

    I wouldn’t put it past the DWP to invite people to an interview in London knowing that they wouldn’t be able to afford to travel there (or just wouldn’t want to go) purely so they could sanction them for not turning up to an interview.

    The DWP are very tricksy like that…

  32. Andrew Coates

    Off-topic But I’m sure readers of the Void will be interested in a visit from the Police about my Blog, Tendance Coatesy (my personal one, along with Ipswich Unemployed Action – which is a collective blog):
    Jimas Gets Police to Threaten Tendance Coatesy.

    http://tendancecoatesy.wordpress.com/2013/05/17/jimas-gets-police-to-threaten-tendance-coatesy/

  33. I’m very tempted to apply for the hell of it, BUT i know I could not lie through my teeth to save IDS’s sorry arse.

  34. If kittycat38 got the job she/he would be down with the struggle alright, they would be the one kicking you down while you struggle, and getting well paid for it too.

  35. ViciousCircle

    Off topic can anybody help me i have been on a 6 month probationary period at work and have been of suffering from depression, the employer has decided to terminate my contract because of this will i be entitled to claim jsa as its not gross misconduct just termination due to medical reasons?. any advice would be much apreciated.

    • Landless Peasant

      Get a letter from your GP to say you are/have been suffering from depression. Apply for JSA, and if they refuse you make an Appeal and attach a copy of the Doctor’s letter.

  36. An ideal job for the recently released Chris Huhne perhaps, I’m sure he wouldn’t need much extra training from Duncan Smith, Hoban or McVey.

  37. Pingback: Lying Bastard Wanted: DWP Advertise For Head of News

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