Take The Class War to the Toff’s Front Door – Tomorrow!

The privileged elite will be trembling beneath the dreaming spires of Cambridge tomorrow (Saturday 16th June) as a fearsome mob of working class heroes and animal rights activists descend on the town to avenge the mutilation of of a local swan.

The local swan, Mr Asbo, had his wings clipped and was removed from his natural habitat along with his partner, after members of the chinless rowing set complained about his presence on the river.  Several toffs were attacked by the swan who objected to the landed gentry invading his rightful home.  This led to a order being sought to remove both swans from the river during the Cambridge boating season and viciously clipping their wings so they could not return.

Appalled by the outrage, veteran Class War anarchist Ian Bone called a demonstration to defend the mighty beast.  Hordes of the proletarian unwashed will descend on the city tomorrow during the Cambridge Bumps, a sickening display of elitism during which the effete upper classes race rowing boats up and down the River Cam.

The demonstration will begin at Senate House, Cambridge on June 16th from 11am.  The march will target the “elitism of Cambridge University in all its many guises” and could see the Pimms drinking classes facing hecklers along the river bank.  A fifth column of working class Cambridge students are set to burn their gowns in disgust at the vile activities of some of their fellow students on the river, which are believed to include the murder of innocent ducklings.

Despite the protest having been agreed with police, there have been several threats of violence made by the lily-livered Cambridge toffs hiding behind a cloak of anonymity on internet forums.  Ian Bone’s blog is also believed to have been illegally hacked, whilst a series of slurs have appeared in the local University press.  Despite these provocations the protest will continue as planned.

Take the Class War to the streets and rivers of Cambridge tomorrow.  We are all Mr Asbo!


5 responses to “Take The Class War to the Toff’s Front Door – Tomorrow!

  1. Eric Greenwood

    http://prisonersfamiliesvoices.blogspot.co.uk/2012/02/avanta-work-program-by-anon-mum-of.html?spref=tw check this story out.. its bad

    The Job centre also referred me to Avanta, formerly TNG who run the work program. With me being new to the job market I was happy with this and happy to do what ever was asked of me within reason. Once I started with Avanta I was told to apply for 5 jobs a week and to keep all and any appointments or interviews made by them for me to attend, which they changed and remade frequently by letter and by phone with very little notice or explanation. As I do run a family and work in a charity shop and sign on at the job centre it was bound to happen that appointments where to clash but I did everything in my power to make sure all was met. One clash occurred on my day of work in the charity shop, when I told Avanta this there attitude was plainly that the work in that shop did not matter and that I must attend the appointment. There tone was far from understanding and I had noticed early on that there tone was often demeaning and belittling when trying to hold a sensible conversation.

    • Did this woman volunteer for this shit – seriously? And then no doubt signed her data protection rights away! Mind-boggling!

  2. I really don’t know what this protest is trying to prove. You don’t seem to have any clear objectives. Are you protesting against the potential ill-treatment of wildlife on the River? Or are you trying to invoke some sort of class scuffle? (war is too dramatic a word). I would also like to know what your definition of “elitism” is. I would be prepared to believe that many people get into Oxford and Cambridge because of family connections. it is unfair that a group like that has a monopoly on power in society and this might warrant protest. BUT I know of people who’ve got to these universities through their own hard work alone. It would surely be unfair to brand these hard-working people has “toffs”. I have never been to either universities serve no real idea of there culture but you seem to be in the business of making sweeping and unfair generalisations about people you have never met. Would it not be better to campaign to improve education standards so that Oxford and Cambridge no longer have a monopoly in education and our rivaled by other universities?

  3. I hate all the animal-hating and abusing people in Cambridge and everywhere else who were in favour of this happening. Spineless scum of the earth.

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