The pledge to spit in the food if sent on workfare in a celebrity chef’s kitchen has been successful after just 5 days
25 people have signed up after it was revealed that the runty little chicken fucker Jamie Oliver has been begging the Government for a workfare slave.
No posh kitchen that uses workfare is now safe. We are everywhere, and we are phlegmy. Toffs everywhere should think twice where their dinner’s coming from and check they don’t use workfare.
The temptation now is to say onwards to Pizza Hut, but I can’t endorse working class people spitting in each other’s food. Workfare using bastards like Pizza Hut, Mcdonalds and Burger King, as well as their customers, might however have a think about the consequences of using unpaid labour in food preparation.
Many a day in a shit job has been idled away wondering how to cost the people who employ you as much money as possible without getting caught. For people who aren’t even being paid it’s not difficult to conceive that these thoughts might lead to action. Workfare sabotage has a long and noble tradition as a particularly virulent and secretive form of getting back at the bastards. Long may it continue.
An interesting, if wordy, pamphlet on the subject from prole.info can be downloaded via the libcom website (PDF).
The pledge will remain open until the end of the year, so there’s still plenty of time to sign.
If they come for our benefits, we will come for their dinner!
the void 
But what if a worker decides to splurge on a posh joint for an anniversary and has no idea that joint is using a workfare slave, and gets spit in his food? That’s not good man
that’s where bourgeois aspirations get you
‘If they come for our benefits, will will come for their dinner!’
Thank you so much for this – and your other gems – I want the Tshirt…
Never mind any niceties…..why stop at spitting in the bastards food?
Penelope: “I’m simply not sure Hugo, that Camembert does look exceedingly runny”
Hugo: “Indeed, the seeds of doubt have been planted Penelope. Onwards to Burger King, I never could tolerate that dickweed Oliver in any case”
i will happily spit in his food. and by spit i mean punch and by food i mean face. lol
Adaptation of a May ’68 slogan:
They are buying and selling you
STEAL YOURSELVES BACK
Very good pledge but I don’t think many people will end up working in a celebrity kitchen – they are more likely to end up in a rubbish shop. Therefore we need a pledge that will cater for them and will not harm ordinary workers at the same time. How about I pledge to ‘accidentally’ break or lose £50-£5000 of the stock or property of the store I work for as a slave. A real Frank Spencer moment. And when dealing with shops like Holland and Barrett where the cunts charge £50 for a protein drink and £25 for a tiny tub of zinc there is plenty of scope for ‘accidentally’ dropping the whole fucking lot over the floor.
Just an idea.
Also if you’re forced to go and work in Asda or Tesco’s make sure you poke holes in yoghurts, pints of milk and anything else that perishable, make sure you smash up packets of biscuits and other things that are breakable too
Just remembered when I worked for an aromatherapy co.,I was bottling very expensive essences, rose otto and frankinsense or something (it was 15 yrs ago) and I had to change the mixture, but was daydreaming abit, so all the blends got the wrong labels on (100s of them)…these went to high class outlets and poncey shops and Sainsburys, but no-one ever twigged, no complaints or returns…ignorance is bliss they, so they say, oh hum….
Can you imagine being forced to work in a supermarket that makes hundreds of millions for absolutely nothing for 30 hrs a week and then have to chuck out hundreds of pounds of perfectly good produce at the end of the shift into a skip… And these same supermarkets want “consumers” to buy extra products from them for charity initiatives..We are copying the U.S system outright and they are having a laugh..” If you believe inn the American dream, then you are still asleep ” George Carlin …