Somewhere in a council flat in South Shields a young lad is crying tonight, his family’s Christmas dreams shattered by an angry mob of stroppy teenagers and sectarian trouble makers.
A dangerous, vanguardist and elitist movement has brutally attacked an innocent North Eastern family, showing utter contempt for our class and our struggle.
In scenes not witnessed since the Kronstadt uprising, the hopes of young Joe Mclederry have been shattered by reactionary forces rigging the charts and hijacking the coveted Christmas number one slot.
What next I ask you comrades?
Stoke Newington latte slurpers breaking into our homes and replacing our brown sauce with balsamic vinegar?
Mobs of Public School teenagers ripping copies of The Sun out of pensioner’s hands?
The Eton Wall Game replacing the footy?
Chip shops burnt to the ground?
Not even Stalin tried to fix the Christmas Number One.
We must not let this war on our culture to take root, for all our sakes, not just Joe’s Mam. Don’t let the facebook fascists win.
We call on all who value class solidarity to turn on their stereos and play Joe Mclederry’s haunting Christmas song as loud as possible, over and over. Open your windows, sing along and be proud.
Joe Mclederry’s cover of Miley Cyrus’s ‘The Climb’ is the new ‘Internationale’. Proletarians the world over will one day sing this song with pride as the red and black flag is raised over Facebook HQ by Cheryl Cole wearing Union Jack knickers and a Primark hoody.
Do it for Joe, do it for Jordan, fuck, do it for Jade.
La lutte continue.