Monthly Archives: September 2006

Under a Blood Red Lie … The Real RED Manifesto

All things being equal, they are not.

And that’s the way we like it.

As first world consumers, we have tremendous power (well we do). What we collectively choose to buy, or not buy, can change the course of life and history on this planet. So here’s the chance for us make the decisions for you.

(RED) is that simple an idea. And that powerful. Now you have a choice (stop laughing at the back). There are (RED) credit cards, (RED) phones, (RED) shoes, (RED) fashion brands. And no, this does not mean they are all red in color, although some are (dumbass).

If you buy a (RED) product or sign up for a (RED) service, at no cost to you a (RED) company will save some of their marketing budget to buy and distribute the anti-retroviral medicine to our brothers and sisters (fingers crossed) dying of aids in Africa.

We believe that if consumers are offered this choice, and the products meet their needs, they will choose to maintain the status quo and continue lining our pockets. And if they choose (RED) over non-(RED), then more brands will choose to become (RED) because it will make good business sense to do so. And more marketing executives salaries will be saved. This has the potential to (RED) wash (you see what we did there) the enitire corporate sector which is good news for all (shareholders).

(RED) is not a charity … far from it. It is simply a marketing strategy. You buy (RED) stuff, we get the money (we’re likin’ it already), buy the pills and distribute them. They take the pill, stay alive, and continue to work for us for slave wages to make the merchandise. It’s really quite simple.

If they don’t get the pills, they die and it’s your fault. We don’t want them to die (well not really). We want to give them the pills. And we can. And you can. And it’s easy. Of course we could just give them the pills, but let’s not be simplistic (unprofitable).

All you have to do is buy our products. And then go back to sleep.

red manifesto

buy one


Join the Army: Be depressed

“London Soldier is an armed forces publicity event held at Chelsea Barracks between September 21st to 23rd September. It is a space for the armed forces to pretend that the life of a soldier, sailor or pilot, is a wonderful, care-free life. Last Saturday a group of people went down to to give a counter view to give out information about what life in the armed forces is really like.”

As ever the boys in blue did their best to ensure that democracy and free speech prevailed.

“As visitors trickled into the event the military police guarding the entrance evidently became concerned at the sizable proportion who were taking leaflets, and so made entry conditional on them being surrendered at the gate.

Unperturbed, the leafletters simply began giving them out to people leaving the event instead, so the FIT (police) positioned themselves just past each leafletter and asked people if they wanted to hand over the leaflets they had been given only a moment before, and with exactly the same unthinking conformity that the army relies on, many of them instantly obeyed.”

The offending leaflet is reproduced below (or a pdf can be found here)

“you don’t want to read that, it’s anti-war rubbish” Met Constable AB228

full story
A spanner in the corpse machine

training workshops for sack parliament

Skunk Drought Set to Continue

At the time of the fall of the Soviet Union the proletariat stomached the bread and petrol shortages, it was only when fags became scarce that the riots began..

A similiar situation may soon occur in the UK with reported outbreakes of violence across the country due to the worst skunk drought in the nation’s history.

Usually placid hippies have been reported fighting in the street over scraps of soapbar whilst violent crime is rocketing as skunk withdrawel kicks in across the country.

In Hemel Hampstead a known pot-smoking vicar allegedly frisked his entire congregation before throwing them out of the church and locking the doors after finding an eigth in the pocket of a parishner.

Meanwhile several legalise cannabis campaigners have ‘gone to pieces’ with some taking the extreme step of getting a job! Cannabis Grandma has been prowling the street of Tyneside and is reportedly armed and dangerous, whilst normally sleepy Glastonbury has turned into a ‘riot zone’.

Rumours abound about how this dangerous situation occurred with many growers blaming the Summer heatwave and increased border security is also thought to play a factor.

Just as things were easing the old bill (many have been off work with stress since the drought began) are set to inflame the situation further with two weeks of cannabis factory raids planned.

Police spokesman Allan Gibson who think’s he’s a fucking comedian was quoted this week as saying that cannabis cultivation is an “increasing problem which must be nipped in the bud”.

Some have speculated that these raids are down to low moral in the police force. Unable to catch real criminals many cops have turned to cannabis use to unwind at the end of the day and have shared the frustration of many smokers this Summer.

It has been suggested that John Reid’s recent upswing in popularity is down to the fact that it is thought the Home Office may have a couple of kilos tucked away somewhere. Other pot smoking MP’s have turned to Brown in frustration.

Sources close to the void have hinted that the Tory party conference may be the best place to score as Cameron is rumoured to have picked up some ‘boom’ charis on his recent jaunt to India. Senior tories today refused to comment, with many just giggling when questioned.

Blair is planning to fly out to Afghanistan today, but has warned that he may have to ration people and even the Taliban are only knocking out soap at the moment.

(thanks to Spartacus for the image)

Prescott Says Sorry and Promises He’ll Go!

Scenes in London last night

Critical Mass at Sack Parliament

Just do it …

Redwatch Revealed

Inept facist website redwatch has been given a taste of it’s own medicine as some of the faces behind the daft affair have been published on indymedia.

Redwatch publish photos of anti-racists, people on anti-war demos, folk who post on internet forums etc and claim that the “the reds are false, untruthful, degenerates and tyrants.”

When explaining why redwatch exist they invoke famous socialist George Orwell when commenting on those of the left, dribbling “time and time again one sees George Orwell’s Animal Farm or 1984.”

Self proclaimed white nationalists, they have little in the way of coherence and are about as dangerous as a tub of lard, but just so you know who’s taking your photo next time you’re out and about here’s a couple of pics. Many more can be found here.

For God’s Sake Don’t Tell the People

Proving once again that the mighty America has never lost a war!