Monthly Archives: May 2006

Eviction Alert!

Toff John Prescott is set to be evicted from his Dorneywood Country estate according to observers who have noticed heavy plant machinery being moved into the area.

Apparantly his missus has said she’ll leave him if she loses her posh home, and despite repeated requests from Blair Prescott refuses to leave. Some say that it’s not his fault and he has now grown so large that movement is impossible.


run away …

As army recruitment numbers fall through the floor on both sides of the Atlantic it has been revealed that over 1,000 troops have deserted from the British Army since the invasion of Iraq began.

The Ministry of Defence have been quick to counter the claims stating that there are no ‘hard facts’ that desertion levels are on the rise and even, laughably claim that they don’t keep records on whether levels of desertion are rising or not.

Without wishing to sound presumptious the void suggests that the Ministry counts how many people are actually in the army and how many people should be in the army. The disparity between the two figures will show the rate of desertion. If you did this every year, then you would be able to find out whether that number is rising or falling … just to clarify, a larger number of missing troops than the year before means that the rate of desertion has risen and a smaller number means that the rate of desertion has fallen … just trying to help like.

It seems that 900 deserters are currently on the run and Labour MP John McDonnell told Parliament this week there had been a tripling in cases over the past three years.

Former SAS member Ben Griffin, who was allowed to leave the sevice after refusing to go back to Iraq has said

“I was disturbed by the general day-to-day attitude of the American troops. They treated Iraqis with contempt, not like human beings. They had a complete disregard for Iraqi lives and property.”

The state is fighting back with new legislation which threatens life imprisonment for any soldiers going AWOL to avoid serving during a military occupation.

So don’t join up kids, it ain’t Top Gun and once they’ve got ya they’ve got ya!

Support Palestine FC!


Attn: Joseph S. Blatter, President, FIFA
CC: Jerome Champagne, Deputy Secretary General, FIFA
FIFA House
Hitzigweg 11, P.O. Box 85,
8030 Zurich, Switzerland

Dear Mr. Blatter,

I am writing to urge the suspension of Israel’s FIFA membership until it
stops interfering in and obstructing Palestinian national representation
in football and other international arenas.

Israel has shown it is willing and able to obstruct Palestinian representation and participation in inter-national sports through a number of acculumated efforts. Most recently on March 30, 2006 Israel bombed the Palestinian Football Stadium in Gaza, leaving a massive crater in its centre. In 2004, Israel set out to prevent the Palestinian football team from representing the Palestinian people on an international level during the World Cup qualifiers by disallowing several members of the team from leaving the Gaza Strip for their second match after winning the first one against Chinese Taipei (8-0). This caused Palestine to lose their second match and their chance as World Cup contenders.

Some efforts against the Palestinian team are less noticed but equally damaging. The Palestinian team is forced to play all their “home” games in a foreign country, away from the support and encouragement of their fans.
Unable to hold regular practice under the exigencies of Occupation, the Palestinian team has to train in Egypt, forcing players to stay away from their homes and families for extended periods. Finally, Israel’s raids, closures, curfews and other Occupation methods prevent the creation of a national Palestinian football league that would serve as a pool from which new players could be recruited.

Yet, Palestine remains the FIFA’s best improving team despite the odds, jumping more that 70 spots in the rankings since it was enlisted in 1998 >(though the Palestine Football Association was formed in 1928).

Israel’s actions aim to deny Palestinian national identity and perpetrate the negative stereotypes that Israel tries to maintain about Palestinians. This campaign is directed at the population as a whole but exemplified by the underhanded practices against Palestine’s football team.

It is customary for FIFA to take disciplinary actions against teams because
of unacceptable behaviour or action by their fans. This is a far more extreme situation where the government of one team systematically sabotages another. Suspending Israel’s membership from FIFA is the only and appropriate sanction for its discriminatory practices. It would also be congruous with the notion that international sports stand above political conflicts to represent equality among nations, fair play and good sportsmanship among peoples of the world.

I urge you to suspend Israel’s membership in FIFA until such a day that it ends its campaign against Palestinian national representation and participation in international sports and beyond.


The Undersigned…ed.cgi?FIFAPal

sign it!

Frankly … you know fuck all

Government website Talk to Frank has gone into overdrive with ‘The Parents Drug Test.’

Designed to wreak hysteria amongst suburban parents this guide carries all the usual prejudices, misinformation and downright ignorance that the void highlighted previously when discussing their inaccurate and dangerous Drugs A to Z.

Despite being informed of the many inaccuracies on their site Frank has changed little if anything at all and seems quite happy doling out misinformation to both parents and teenagers alike.

So let’s have a look at their quiz

Q1 Which of these are a sign that your child may be using drugs?

the choices they offer are:

Poor Immunity/Coughs and Colds
Dilated Pupils/Red or Glazed Eyes
Moody, irritable or erratic behaviour
Withdrawel from family and friends
Loss of interest in school, problems with discipline/truancy
Money disappearing or going missing without any evidence of what was bought

and on it goes listing all the other symptoms known to be indicative of being a teenager. the void suggests some more dead give aways …

Your child staggering in at 10 in the morning with a bunch of mates swigging lager and talking about having been on a top one the night before then asking if you’ve got any skins

Your child begins earning thousands of pounds in the media and makes frequent trips to the bathroom

You catch your child selling travelcards outside the tube station and he/she doesn’t recognise you, instead asking you for a fag

Your child loses the power to walk or speak and you find him/her face down in a pile of white powder with gabba blaring out of the stereo.

Your child leaves homes, gets a dog and goes to live in a truck

… all are signs recognised by experts that your child doesn’t like you very much and wants to be left alone.

Frank then goes on to ask worried parents to match equipment to the various drugs it’s used for. Excelling himself in his ignorance Frank has decided crack users don’t use pipes, all ecstasy comes in pin boxes or tiny bits of clear food wrap, acid comes on stickers or transfers (?), ganja doesn’t smell and no-one smokes coke in spliffs (in reality some of the most voracious coke users we’ve known here often prefer coke spliffs to lines.)

This really is nonsense, not even propaganda, just misinformed garbage which shows how even those in the professional (sic) drugs field are largely inexperienced and confused about how different drugs are used.

The propaganda comes along soon enough though with question three stating unequivocably that cannabis leads to mental health problems, a statement far from proved and contested by many. Frank then goes on to flog the hopefully soon to be dead horse that cannabis use can lead to other drugs. We reckon reading Frank’s continual garbage is more likely to drive people to take hard drugs than the odd reefer.

Frank then decides to play at ‘what am I?’ on question 4 with questions like “I am a white crystalline powder, sometimes in the form of a white or off-white tablet”

The answer here is ecstasy, Frank then asks “I am an off white or pinkish powder that can sometimes look like crystals” which could be cheap ketamine, badly cut coke, ecstasy again or glucose … the correct answer of course is speed, though the best speed I’ve ever had was bright orange!

Frank then says that he is ‘brown and sticky (that’s what comes from being full of shit Frank) and come in a small jar’ and this turns out to be the elusive cannabis oil. This is Frank trying to show off by letting us know he knows all about cannabis oil, but proves himself woefully inaccurate as usual. Cannabis oil is quite a find and generally comes scraped into the indents in the plastic from old painkiller packaging.

Few teenagers could afford a jar of the stuff, so if you find that then don’t worry.

It just means that they’re serving up and you might not need to worry so much about your pension plan, encourage them by buying them a decent set of digi’s.

Question five is boring, just asking how much a pill costs … and Frank does get this one right although the alternatives to a fiver or less (£20-50 or over £100) are clearly ridiculous.

Question 6 re-iterates more unscientific propaganda claiming long term ecstasy use can cause depression, personality change and memory loss. (by the way Frank, living causes personality change and memory loss, and having the kind of parents who would take this test can probably lead to depression).

Frank gets retro in Question 7 with ‘street’ names for various drugs informing us that dexies are slang for speed. A phrase barely used since the 70’s most teenagers would look at you like the old fool you are if you asked them about dexies.

Frank also fails to realise that whilst gear is often used as slang for heroin it can also be slang for cannabis, which could lead to more than one over-anxious parent leaping to the wrong conclusion.

Finally Question 8 asks a question with only one answer option

What’s the best way to prevent your child from taking drugs?

the patronising answer being ‘talk to them and keep talking’

and do stupid tests like this one guaranteed to fill you with meaningless prejudice, waffle and at times pure bullshit when you finally come around to having that conversation.

We are all Jessies!

The right is claiming victory in the Jesse Macbeth saga with unbearable smugness. Ignoring the continued lies, smears and disinformation that drips daily from the hands of republican loving, so-called news outlets. The right is now acting with a moral indignation derived from years of covering their eyes and crossing their fingers when spreading their own packs of lies.

Having said that it looks very much like our Jesse was not in the US Rangers or possibly even in the military. This is a direct quote given apparantly by Army spokesman John Boyce

“Initial research by the U.S. Army Special Operations Command at Fort Bragg shows no Soldier with the name of Jesse Macbeth having ever been assigned to the Special Forces or the Army Rangers — which are, in fact, two separate disciplines. This appears to be some sort of hoax. No Soldier by that name at Fort Lewis to our knowledge, in the past, either. Of course, the line about “go into the Army or go to jail” is vintage TV script not heard since the 1960s. There are also numerous wear and appearance issues with the Soldier’s uniform — a mix of foreign uniforms with the sleeves rolled up like a Marine and a badly floppy tan beret worn like a pastry chef. Of course, the allegations of war crimes are vague, as are the awards the Soldier allegedly received.” source

The film was made by Pepperspray production, an indepedant media outlet, with close affiliations to indymedia. The organisation generally would be regarded as a legitimate source, and both them and indymedia in the US seem to have remained quiet on the issue. Jessie has also been active with the anti-war group Iraq Veterans Against War ( although there is no medntion of him or this video on their website.

So the question is who is Jesse Macbeth, a low grade prankster, a delusional misfit, a wannabe actor or a disinfomation op, created by the anti-war left or the reactionary right, to discredit the war or discredit the IVAW respectively.

Or perhaps he is for real .. tho’ it looks ever more doubtful, many leftwing blogs and news organisation are still carrying the video as genuine. An air of uncharacteristic bashfulness seems to have descended on many left wing commentators who supported Jesse however, a few seem to be battling it out but without any real confidence or conviction.

In any event it should be remembered that whilst many of Jesse’s claims were outlandish many of the things he speaks of almost certainly are being carried out right now and in our name. If this video can have any positive effect at all it will be to remind people that’s wars aren’t pretty, children and innocents get killed and that to make the decision to go to war is one of the gravest decisions that can be made …

… and should not be made on the back of a bunch of half truths, downright lies, and pinch of post 9/11 hysteria added to a shedload of Fox News propaganda.

the video is now available on google

the void says give the man an oscar. Whilst the whole stunt is maybe of dubious morality, not particularly helping anti-war activists or pro-war hawks he gives a fine performance. The slight stutter, not bad enough to affect the fluency of his tale, but enough to give a veneer of vulnerability is a genius touch. This man needs his own TV show, along with another wasted talent just waiting for the right vehicle … Saddam Hussein! As a politician a bastard granted, but what a performer, he could be the next Jerry Springer and Jesse could be his first guest. Do I get a job at Fox yet?

STOP PRESS STOP PRESS a message appeared on the website stating that due to a request from Iraq Veterans Against War the video had been removed. The video and the comments section now appears inaccessible

If he didn’t answer the way we liked, we would shoot his youngest kid in the head

So says Jessie Macbeth, a former US Army Ranger and Iraq War Veteran.

watch the interview here

Many are questioning the legitimacy of this video, with the main piece of evidence that it may be a scam being the badge on his beret not being a US Rangers badge and the fact his is wearing his beret backwards. Many have also questioned the over the top nature of his remarks.

The juries still out at the void … it shouldn’t be too hard to verify whather this guy is who he says he is. Some have (obviously) declared state involvement early, suggesting that releasing an obvious fraud makes it easier to discredit any vets who do come forward with their experiences.

Blair in Iraq Lowdown

Anti-war protesters offer Blair some fashion advice for his latest Middle Eastern jaunt

Blair has made a ‘surprise’ visit to Iraq and stated that there is ‘no excuse’ for bloodshed to continue in the country … nothing much can be said to that really.

With his usual inane grin very much in evidence he met new PM Nouri Maliki who has said that he expects Iraqi forces to have taken control of Iraq within a year … oh except Baghdad of course .. the capital.

While Blair jets around the world again many have criticised him for his failure to meet any survivors of 7/7 in this country as well as the injured troops who’ve been brought home. The hatred for Blair within the military is at an all time high, and he might be more concerned about his own troops than the insurgents whilst he’s out there living it up. One soldier has commented (who shall remain nameless)

“Have a look at a few Army message boards to see how many soldiers feel about the Celstial Navigator and his ugly bloodsucking fucking wife. I can honestly say that if someone offered me a tenner to look the other way while they put an RPG into his car, I’d give him his money back and go round the corner for a quick fag until I heard a really loud bang.”

Blair refuses to give a time-table for when troops are to be pulled out just as he refuses to give a time-table for when he plans to fuck off out of number 10. He does claim that all foreign forces will have left within four years .. er … ‘but hey don’t tell the Americans that guys.’ Blair isn’t very good at seeing into the future and commented that the road to democracy in Iraq had been “longer and harder” than he had hoped.

I mean hell Tony, who knew?