Class Crisis After That Facebook Group

Somewhere in a council flat in South Shields a young lad is crying tonight, his family’s Christmas dreams shattered by an angry mob of stroppy teenagers and sectarian trouble makers.

A dangerous, vanguardist and elitist movement has brutally attacked an innocent North Eastern family, showing utter contempt for our class and our struggle.

In scenes not witnessed since the Kronstadt uprising, the hopes of young Joe Mclederry have been shattered by reactionary forces rigging the charts and hijacking the coveted Christmas number one slot.

What next I ask you comrades?

Stoke Newington latte slurpers breaking into our homes and replacing our brown sauce with balsamic vinegar?

Mobs of Public School teenagers ripping copies of The Sun out of pensioner’s hands?

The Eton Wall Game replacing the footy?

Chip shops burnt to the ground?

Not even Stalin tried to fix the Christmas Number One.

We must not let this war on our culture to take root, for all our sakes, not just Joe’s Mam. Don’t let the facebook fascists win.

We call on all who value class solidarity to turn on their stereos and play Joe Mclederry’s haunting Christmas song as loud as possible, over and over. Open your windows, sing along and be proud.

Joe Mclederry’s cover of Miley Cyrus’s ‘The Climb’ is the new ‘Internationale’. Proletarians the world over will one day sing this song with pride as the red and black flag is raised over Facebook HQ by Cheryl Cole wearing Union Jack knickers and a Primark hoody.

Do it for Joe, do it for Jordan, fuck, do it for Jade.

La lutte continue.

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8 responses to “Class Crisis After That Facebook Group

  1. Fantastic article.

    merry Christmas!

  2. At first glance, I thought the title of your post was China Crisis After That Facebook Group. Maybe a re-released ‘Wishful Thinking’ could be the Xmas number 1 in 2010?

    Btw, brown sauce is more expensive than balsamic vinegar in Brooklyn. Just thought I’d mention it in case you were ever in the neighbourhood.

  3. I think in actuality we have save this Joe guy from a life of exploitation by the media and Simon. You politics seem completely off. as far as I am concerned Rage was the working class choice. Joe for the nice middle classes and the teenage girls with not a thought of there own in their heads.

  4. well you got something right mark

    most people buy the X Factor single for their kids, you’re all getting angry about music aimed at children

    so you bought some music aimed at teenagers to teach the grown ups a lesson

    oh, and you look like a fraggle

  5. Your presumptions regarding my motivation is incorrect.

    As it happens I have been a rage fan for many many years, and I supported this campaign both because I have always loved the band, and because I believed that the extra exposure to a radical revolutionary message was a good thing. In all honesty, I have at no point cared for the fortunes of the x-factor either way. And as a musician, if I had to choose, I would not support a non-musician over some very good musicians, in a musical competition. Especially when the musicians in question so strongly support libertarian-socialism, anarchy and communism, with a very clear anti-capitalist message. At no point was I angry at the x-factor.

    I am new to your blog, not read it many times before, but it seems that you push a pro-working class agenda. Good. You have an anarchy symbol as your avatar. However my analysis as an anarchist is at odds to yours. And I am interested to know why. Have I miss understood your political position?

    And as it happens I really don’t care what you think of how I look, I did not do it to please you or anyone else. It is a personal spiritual choice. However, perhaps when a new user comes to your site and questions your analysis, the best response is not to ridicule their appearance, but rather to engage in discussion. But then that’s just me.

  6. I have read more thoroughly now, and I apologise for being naive. I have not been taught any of this nor had people to discuss it with seriously. I have taught my self my own politics in isolation. In your eyes, I guess I am very much a newbie. But I still have a valid question, and wonder if you genuinely feel that what you say here is correct. I know it is all over, but even after re-thinking about it based on what you say, I still stand by my choice. I feel genuinely that some one made a proposal that I thought was a good idea, so I supported it. Not that I was manipulated or lead. I felt there were many good reasons for this. To get the anti-capitalist message out, and because I have a fondness for the band. Because I thought it would be funny. But not really out of any vindictiveness for either Simon or Joe.

    That is not to say that I don’t like the exploitive nature of the show. That it revels in public humiliation, and that it generally uses both is participants and it’s audience simply to line a few pockets. I do not watch the show, nor do I listen to the “music” it produces. I feel no shame in preventing another “artist” from hitting number one. But I do feel pride in the symbolic act of claiming it for a people’s movement, and winning over a exploitive, capitalist machine, that NEEDS to be raged against. As for Joe, I feel no sympathy. I’m sorry I just don’t. I have had plenty of my dreams shattered. And even if he had won he would never be the real winner. He would have been/will be a puppet of the system. Rage against the machine still headline festivals, 17/18 years after that song was released. In 17/18 years even with an average pop career Joe will be in the line up on nevermind the buzzcocks. It’s a hard lesson but we all have to learn it.

    Joe may well have been the popular working class choice, but it is only because we are spoon fed a choice between one shit TV show or another. Sometimes it needs some radicals to come along and stir things up a little, and after a political year like this one I welcome it. No matter how misguided the founders of the campaign are, the right type of song was picked for the right type of campaign, and tt worked. And if just a few people pay a little more attention to the lyrics of other Rage songs because of this, and agree with the things they say, then the few pence I spent on the copies I bought is money well spent.

    Sorry to rant

  7. Oh! Sides. Split. Merry Xmas.
    Sorry for being brief.

  8. ooop hips new year voidy, glad to see you’ve avoided having your humrous gland extracted by anarchonazies, vive la situation!

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