Boris and Cocaine – We Demand a Drugs Test!

With the news that not so nice but dim fuckwit Boris Johnson took cocaine and cannabis in his youth the void asks can we risk letting this former druggie loose on our great city.

Cocaine is a Class A drug which is used by people with too much money and leads to arrogance, over-confidence and the ability to talk bollocks for hours on end regardless of whether anyone’s listening.

Based on this we suspect that Johnson may still be a cocaine user and for his own good, and that of London, we demand that he submits to a full drug test before carrying on as London Mayoral candidate.

Drug tests for people undertaking positions of responsibility are not uncommen so this should prove no problem to Boris. A hair test can trace all substances taken for up to the past year so it would be easy for Johnson to put the electorate at rest.

Johnson needs to show that the city isn’t likely to be taken over by a coke-crazed lunatic who’s likely to flog off Nelson’s Column for a rock at three in the morning on a heavy session.

We’d be happy to make all the necessary arrangements and cover the expense of the test (Ken, you’re paying ya cunt).

For that matter we see no reason why Brian Paddick, another former drugs offender who allowed his premises to be used for the consumption of cannabis shouldn’t take a test as well.

Just to be on the safe side.

As for Ken we reckon he’s just to dull to use drugs but given the stories about an early morning eye-opener a liver function test should be on the cards.

If they are clean then the candidates should have no reservations agreeing to these demands and if they test positive then they can get the help they so badly need.

Quick update: Mad woman Debra Bell today spouts her unscientific drivel in the Daily Mail, you can leave comments here.

Meanwhile Transform are talking some sense about cannabis.

Talking (bollocks) About Cannabis