Monthly Archives: April 2006

A Sea of Drunk Teenagers

pic Marc Vallée

West End off licences almost ran out of alcopops yesterday as almost 10,000 teenagers turned up in Trafalgar Sqaure to attend the anti-fascist Love Music Hate Racism concert.

‘Fuck the BNP’ and ‘have you got any ID?’ were the slogans of the day as freshfaced schoolkids proceeded to attempt to drink Soho dry.

Belle & Sebastian, Lethal Bizzle and The Mentalists were some of the artists who appeared with some inspired VJing from the void’s mates over at punkvert.tv

Trying to avoid cynicism and hope that the kids didn’t just turn out to see Pete Doherty live on stage the few grizzled old crusties who made the day generally agreed it was a good thing … though it’s unlikely to happen again after the state the Square was left in.

Those who did turn up to see Doherty will have remained disappointed as he was unable to make it due to his arrest over the decidely dodgy pic which featured in the Scum recently.

Now any self-respecting junkie is unlikely to give a hit to someone already on the nod, it’s a waste of perfectly good drugs and quite likely attempted murder.

Many have speculated that Doherty was in fact removing the needle, or even that Doherty himself staged the pic to wind up the tabloids.

In any event the arrest meant yet another no-show for Doherty, not that those in the Square seemed to mind or even notice, many were in the fountain by the time Babyshambles were due to play.

Mayday Update

Seems some are ignoring Richard (see below) and organising a SOCPA protest on Mayday this year after all.

http://www.parliamentprotest.org.uk/

Pledgebankers bottle out

“I will form part of a human chain around the Westminster no protest zone but only if 6,000 other people will join in.”

— Richard

Well 6,000 people din’t sign up but almost a thousand did and judging from the comments were more than up for some kind of naughtiness come mayday.

But it appear the mysterious Richard has sent an e-mail to one and all saying that this action will now not be happening on mayday. A comment left on the site reads

“As early as December someone submitted a comment asking if the action would occur on May Day. Richard failed to clarify and since he was not taking an active role others started tentatively planning things based on the assumption that it would. Still Richard maintained his silence. Then with just 10 days to go he basically tells us that the pledge was never intended to occur on May Day.”

The pledge is to be extended until next January by which time SOCPA will have been extended to the whole of the inside of the M25 and the void will probably be writing this from a work camp.

After all, why take this action on mayday, when the police resources will be stretched thinly, journos are everywhere and there’ll be thousands on the streets who may be able to help.

We think it’s a cop out, and wonder if Richard’s been got at.

The void calls all disaffected pledgebankers to join the autonomous bloc on the TUC march. Meet at 12 noon, Clerkenwell Green EC1.

John Reid … closet toker?

Where did I leave that fuckin’ blim?

The answer to how defence secretary John Reid is able to sleep at night has been revealed this morning as it is confirmed that hashish has been found at his house in Scotland.

Clumsy Reid must have dropped a blim on the carpet before jetting off to Afghanistan recently to pick up some more.

When busted Reid relied on the old favourite ‘never seen it before in me life guv’ claiming it must have been there before since before he moved in adding ‘you ain’t got any king skins ‘ave yer geezer?’

Cops will not be prosecuting Reid and have swallowed his story wholehearedly with one telling the void ‘aye well it’s one rule for them and one for us pal.’

Meanwhile hippy Reid has added Nepal, Pakistan and India to his tour and is said to be planning to visit Morocco on his way back to the UK.

Both David Cameron and George Osborne have been in touch asking him to pick something up for them as well.

Cannabis found at John Reid home

Rosie Winterton Announces Shake up of Mental Health Nurses

Mental health campaigners have welcomed a shake-up of mental health nursing announced by the government last week.

Health minister Rosie Winterton said: “The time is right to provide mental health nurses with a new direction and clear future role in order to deliver government reforms such as the Mental Health Bill, personalised care and choice.” more

Lucky girl Rosie was Constituency Personal Assistant to John Prescott MP From 1980-1986. Educated at Doncastor Grammar she went on to study at Hull University.

Stop Press It’s Official Prescott and Hewitt!!!

John Prescott and James Hewitt are both known ‘love rats!’

Hewitt was having it off with the future King’s missus whilst low brow Prescott was knocking off his secretary.

It’s also been revealed today that a standards watchdog has said that Prescott could be investigated over his recent affair

“Sir Alistair Graham, head of the Committee on Standards on Public Life, said private behaviour was an issue only if it affected ministers’ jobs.

In this case issues might emerge because a civil servant was involved.

Sir Alistair added that if there had been any breach of civil service rules “I’m sure the Cabinet secretary will investigate them and deal with them appropriately”. more

Prescott’s Second Mistress Revealed!!!

the void can exclusively reveal the identity of Prezza’s second mistress.

After bribing journo’s to report that the bottleneck whale found in the Thames in January had died Prescott used his own personal winch to have the whale moved to his swimming pool in his secret mansion.

Prescott, who’s named his sweetheart Patricia is said to be overjoyed and doesn’t care who knows.

Meanwhile Patricia is believed it was rather the relationship was kept quiet as she seems slightly embarrassed by the whole affair.

Dismay as Scientists Reveal Fat, Blubbery Mass in Thames Not Prescott